” A Little Messed Up, But We’re All Alright”

Before I begin, I need to credit the title…it is a quote from the song “American Kids”, by Kenny Chesney.  I’m not sure yet what direction this might go, but it seems an apt enough title for nearly any direction.

I haven’t been able to write.  My anxiety and depression have been bad.  My head has been up my ass.  I’ve been focusing on all the wrong stuff.   Haven’t had that “flash” that says “write about THIS”.  The other day my friend Micha said “Just WRITE!”  So we will give it a shot.

We got a new dog a couple weeks back.  I have been trying to get a “companion animal” for Ryan.  I had some pretty strict criteria for this dog.  The shelter had an adoption event, so Ryan and I went.  I wanted a small to medium sized dog.  We are now the proud owners of a large dog.  LARGE.  I named him Baxter.  David Baxter is a homicide detective in my favorite crime series, the “In Death” series, by J.D. Robb. 20160523_152807

 

That’s Ryan and Bax.  Not the best picture, but I failed Technology 101, and I can’t find the rest of the pictures.

Ryan is on a chemo hold.  His white cell counts dropped sharply last week, plus his liver is not working correctly, so he gets a break.  I had finally gotten him back in school, and was looking forward to some productive time, but our oncologist yanked him back out of school last week, and Tuesday he told me Ryan was done for the year.  Sigh. But ok.

Shawn had some medical issues about a month ago. He went to Anaheim on a band trip and texted me on the Sunday that he needed to go to the doctor as soon as he got off the bus on Tuesday.  Upon questioning the child, it turns out that he had been  symptomatic for a couple of months.  And had said nothing. So it was good that he was in Anaheim, where I could not physically reach him to throttle the daylights out of him.  But all is well now.  On the topic of Shawn, 2 weeks ago I made a mild suggestion that he get a haircut.  He thought not. 6 days later, after church, he HAD TO GET A HAIRCUT RIGHT NOW, MOM.  Seriously?  This is MY emergency WHY?  But we got the hair cut.

Dang it. I’m trying to put a picture here but it won’t stay.  IMG_20160515_150244

Ok, there it is.  STAY, picture.  Yes, same child.  I found him under a mop.

As far as me, I’m ok. Some days I am manicky, some days I’m depressed, some days I spend hours worrying about all the things that could go catastrophically wrong. The good news is that I spend less time hiding during greeting time at church these days, am getting better at letting people touch me.  I can’t promise what might happen tomorrow, but so far I’m ok today.

“A little messed up, but we’re all alright…”

Nail. Head.  Thanks, Kenny!!!! 

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